everyday is a health day

Every day is a day to take care of your mental physical and spiritual health. As it is all connected, we experience these three things hand in hand, daily. 

I live with chronic debilitating illnesses both physical and mental, every day is a battle i fight through. 

I am not ashamed of living the way I do. Unfortunately there are more days than I’d like, where my chronic pain takes over. I’ve had a cold for over a week now and normal to me is my immune system on overdrive. With my inflammatory disease, my pain is sometimes not manageable. My main medication is a an snri, working as an antidepressant that also increases the serotonin and norepinephrine in my big brain that calms down my pain receptors. I picture them going off uncontrollably like a parade of fireworks. My medications help but at the same time they dont. Its funny and ironic because when im happy and working and creating its like im in another dimension where my body is just as happy, I go numb to my own conditions because I am energetically more positive. Its hard to wake up sometimes with no money and not think of drowning. 

I notice changes in my body when I don’t drink enough water, stretch my body a few times a day, and when my stress levels increase so does this pain. Fibro isn’t something that can be cured and it’s not exactly something that has enough study to be fully understood. Taking the time to listen to myself and study my body greatly decreases my chances of a monthly flare up. 

Right now I have a rheumatologist, pcp, psychiatrist, therapist, and an obgyn that have provided me with help in managing these conditions. Getting care from multiple doctors that take their time to listen to me has been a blessing I didn’t even think could happen. 

I started therapy when I turned 25 thanks to my mom even though she doesn’t believe in it. Her gift to me was medical insurance that I’ve been able to use and help myself live a more manageable daily life. That does not mean it is easy for my mom to pay that every month, I have this little cloud over my head racking up the bill to pay her back because quite frankly it isnt fair that she has to put half of her check into me and she deserves more. I can’t describe the feeling of being able to go into Kaiser again though. I lost my medical insurance when I was 17 and since then have been seen by doctors that have harassed, lied, and hurt me. 18-25 living with illnesses that they believed I didn’t have because I was “too young to have that pain”??? 

Ex: Going into urgent care with multiple ruptures cysts in my uterus and being in a hospital room for 10 hours only to be given ibuprofen and sent home. I was told I couldnt have pneumonia last year because I was too young. (After catching pneumonia before it advanced to an infection in my lungs, catching covid before covid) I was treated unfairly by the first obgyn I went to who made me cry a river while he uncomfortably misdiagnosed me, told me to take medication and tried to tell me my allergic reactions were happening because I was drinking alcohol?!? Which I wasn’t (from my long, excruciating history with medication i know not to do things that upset my body even more) 

I started a chronicallysickchronicles where I write in more detail about my monthly flare ups and what I did to manage and balance myself.. It is not an easy thing to live with chronic illnesses. It is also something that does not stop me from living. World mental health day was two days ago, it took me a while to write this. I think its extremely important to note that every day is a new day and chronic illnesses whether mental or physical or both look different on all of us. We experience everyday differently and are all connected by it. 

You are not alone, I am not alone. We are unique and pretty fucking resilient..

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"it feels like a heart attack" April 2021

On this months episode of chronicallysickchronicles, I your host, Leeza, deals with yet another random spree of pain.

This time on my left side, near my heart! I was put on a week of prednisone and a heavier dose of (drum roll please)….. you guessed it, Ibuprofen! Thank you urgent care… por nada…. doc came in felt my rib and didn’t ask for any X-rays, history, really nothing… lol...it is the reason I tend to avoid doctors.

I was experiencing a strong pain when breathing for the last 2 weeks. I thought it closely resembled a heart attack, i’ve never felt one before but its now safe to say that the pain of inflammation around the rib is CLOSELY RELATED TO THE FEELING OF A HEART ATTACK!

I finished my prednisone pack feeling just about the same as how I felt before taking them… a stronger dose of ibuprofen made me feel even worse, like there was a black hole in my stomach and chest. My back is swollen and painful to the touch. I can’t lay flat and I don’t have full mobility, safe to say dancing around the house is a little exhausting and slow these days. But despite my true and deserved complaints, I still feel okay. I dont feel depleted which I am beyond thankful for. Dealing with my reproductive system has taught me a lot about my own strength. When I go through these experiences, I learn that through each thing I connect more and more with my body. We become a whole being even though it teaches me through such pains. I learn how much I can take. POWERFUL.

*No BS I did not expect this series to continue on as a monthly series, unfortunately this is the body that I have to go through life with, I can admit I have good days where my body cooperates and is really good to me, I can also admit how truly painful it can get.

healing through— tinctures and nutrients

This isn’t meant as a recommendation but as a documentation of my journey and my existence. I am about to be 25 years old and ive had a pretty tough physical body to deal with.

As I previously wrote, I just went through a long flare up. Immediately I knew I needed to increase my nutrients to reduce the inflammation in my body. I stuffed a bunch of yummy fruits and veggies into a juicer.

• Celery, carrot, kale, red bell pepper, green apple, orange, lemon, and ginger have been helpful for me

I had to get on top of taking my vitamins. I have a lot of fatigue and taking or eating my omegas, b12, d3+k2, help in not feeling so tired. I needed a ton of rest, I spent most of the time on the couch or being around the house. I am thankful to have booked two really amazing jobs and I am grateful that my body stayed relatively well enough to (in my opinion) KILL IT!! :)

Stevie's goddess oil which is a Cbd oil I take by mouth, reduces the cramps on my lower back and abdomen by A TON! Her cbd joints are like no other cbd joint ive smoked… Its smooth and you can really taste the quality of it. ive smoked a few other cbd joints and can confidently say they lack taste and are too harsh. They are quite literally the freshest cbd joints out right now. I really love stevie, I smoke because of how much it helps me function. Having such quality cbd in my life has tremendously helped my pain. Even in the beginning of the pandemic my anxiety was manifesting in teeth grinding, I started taking cbd oil at night and noticed a huge difference in how I would wake up the next day, little to no pain.

Other tinctures Ive taken through this have been:

• Shepherd’s Purse my HOLY GRAIL but must be taken responsibly, research!!! ( I use Herb Pharm) I haven’t tried any other brands but I am on my second or third bottle of this, the taste is not the best but I mask it in a shot of orange juice. I’m convinced this helped my spotting stop completely.

• Cramp Relief ( I use the brand WishGarden) It contains Cramp bark, Black Cohosh root, Catnip, Wild Yam root, Scullcap. I try not to take this too often but two full droppers and a little joint and ive found the length of time between pain attacks is extended a bit. It gives me a little more time to not be in a consistent cramp. I do feel it works less than an ibuprofen but I try not to shove my body with those as they’re the only thing the doctors like to recommend.

I do my research in regards to what I put in my body. I am on birth control and there’s a long list of pills and herbs that shouldn’t be mixed. I don’t enjoy birth control or putting any western medicine in my body but it is what I have to do for now. Trial and error baby, day by day.

Flare up March 2021

Part of my healing is listening to what my body needs at the present moment. When I talk about my body and health I instinctively try and simplify it to a basic sentence. 

“I love my body, even when I don’t feel it love me.”

But it is not simple, it cannot be reduced to a single sentence. Loving this vessel doesn’t always mean it is in its most healthy state, these days its not. I live with invisible, undiagnosed illnesses. I know I am not alone in having serious health problems go unseen, undiagnosed, and misdiagnosed. Ive gone through endless loops dealing with the healthcare system. Western medicine has never been on my side, their treatments have never been right for me, and frankly i’ve been misdiagnosed more times than I have fingers on my hands and toes to count. 

I realize most of these systems aren’t put in place to benefit or help people like me… Ive never relied on them, my momma used to cure me with sopas, Banos, and herbs for most things. Ive found slivers of solace in other natural remedies as well, it helps and living undiagnosed, you tend to have to cure yourself.

I will eventually recall my past experiences on here but for now I want to say what’s currently going on:

Im on week 3 of a reproductive flare up. My symptoms during this flare up are a third of what a “normal” “period” to me is like. The pain is more bearable but I have had constant aches and body inflammation for almost 20 days now. I’m left feeling like a speculator, outside of my own body. Its a numbing thing to have to go through constantly. I have always experienced a strong dissociation when it comes to my reproductive system. Recently, my disassociation has gotten a bit worse. Its not all bad, I have to rest.. A LOT. I dont mind rest though, i enjoy it. I am naturally a person that carries a lot of heavy bricks on their shoulders. So when I get a chance to rest, even if its forceful rest, I take it with a distinct ease. I have found a few natural things that have helped ease my symptoms and maintain more of a balance within my body.

Im going to make posts of the tinctures, herbs, supplements, and routines that have helped me not go crazy.